I designed this

Jordan Phoenix  {voted most likely to be #super famous in High School}

Personal And Political Objective

To obtain a job that pays $3 above minimum wage (I just graduated from College so)

Education That Shows How Qualified I Am

     Liberal Arts College, 5 years

  • Took deeply involved classes
  • GPA well above average
  • Was a second year senior because I wanted to take a ceramics class

     Super Elite High School, 4 years

  • Prom Queen
  • Single all 4 years to focus on studies
  • We had Rugby

     Very involved preschool, 2 years

  • We did chores

Work Experience, Including Internships And Personal Projects

     Large, Well-Known Marketing Company

  •  They gave me lots of money
  •  My boss told me that I was “hip” and ~with it~
  •  I was there approximately 5-7 years

     Design Company in a cool, urban space that had no chairs or computers

  • Hired me because I had cool glasses and small ears
  • I learned a few things – I “designed with my mind”
  • I learned that making french press coffee was the new ‘in’

     Personal Lifestyle Blog

  • I run it by myself, people sometimes look at it
  • Couldn’t think of anything else to put here

     Hometown Ice Cream Shoppe

  • I found out they closed a couple of years ago
  • They thought the ‘e’ on the end of their name was really neat
  • I gained 10 pounds but learned that the cherries on top of sundaes are “real”

Special, No-One-Else-Can-Do-It-Like-Me, Skills

Can speak on the radio, work a camera, do yoga, solve world problems, play with dogs, world champion keyboard cleaner, great at having panic attacks, love misdiagnosing my ailments, email me for more

Awards [ I’m super qualified to have a job, btw ]

Most talented person ever, Most forgiving roommate award 2012, Most anxious person 2013, Able to get over things quickly 2014, Most likely to be thought of as “interesting”, Won Most Bitter Award 2015


Hire me !!!

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